Recent Comments

1. about 18 hours ago on Crankshaft

   “Oh, hi, I’m you’re great auntie Grizelda! I know you’ve never met me, but tomorrow we’re holding the Super Bowl at your house. No, not our Super Bowl party, the ACTUAL SUPER BOWL… No, why should we have asked? Your backyard seats 100K right?” Gotta admit: If Starfish Bones wants press, it’s going to get it! “STARNOSED MOLE III PREMIERE WORSE THAN FYRE FESTIVAL”

2. about 18 hours ago on Crankshaft

   “hotel space food”I think Tom’s been eating that, if he means “the LSD Mason left in his room last time.”

3. about 18 hours ago on Crankshaft

   TOM: “Studios make decisions on movies that need to make a BILLION DOLLARS to just BREAK EVEN over the course of a whimsical week! TRUE craftsmen like COMIQUE ARTISTES sit on their utterly perfect unedited scripts for eleven months!” HAS HE RESEARCHED ANYTHING IN HIS LIFE? yells the Talking Murder Monkey.

4. about 18 hours ago on Crankshaft

   So…the STUDIO sent GEORGE CLOONEY-MAN to Dumpster Town Ohio to negotiate using PUBLIC DOMAIN MUSIC a FEW MINUTES AGO IN STRIP TIME…But the movie-like object comes out in a couple weeks, in DUMPSTER TOWN OHIO. And boy—is he smug about it! Sounds like his Strarsuck Movie am GOODS! Maybe better than “Madame Web”!!

   Tom calls this “writing” and “reality.” He literally has no idea how anything works. How does he think people eat their Montoni’s Pizza, by shoving the slices in their EAR?

   But he’s right. Yesterday he said it wouldn’t be funny.

5. 2 days ago on Crankshaft

   Eve, you need to crosspost these on…That Place! You know—The Lost World of Roiurama!

6. 2 days ago on Crankshaft

   He’s working in the studio next door! He’s playing the title character in “Weekend at Bernie’s 3: He Now Smells Worse!”

7. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

   They should make a carnival game called “Wack-A-Smirk”! I can picture 3 of the little smashable heads already! Throw in Dinkle and Lillian, and all you need is the one that if you hit it, you win the game! It’d be Ed, because you’ll never see him and the game is rigged.

8. 3 days ago on Mother Goose and Grimm

   Most cats would find a bat flapping around their house THE MOST INTERESTING OF ALL THE EVERS

9. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

   This strip has turned into Tom kissing the butts of the many Toms that it’s populated by. All love Tom! Dude, just change the strip’s name to “The Family Circle Jerk.”

10. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    “Umm…Whut you say yesterday, should me repeat?” “Ignore him! How I loathe him! Maaason…would you like to see my lingerie collection?”

    It’s a RUST BELT OHIO PODUNK. It has a one-screen theater that shows only 3 movies. Why would the premiere be there?Yeah, Tom, we get it. Still bitter over that Pulitzer you so deserved and didn’t get. Any guesses how many awards that S——UCKS JONES 3 will get? And be given to people who didn’t earn them?