Story of my life.
Or time to work for Donald Trump.
If my dog had a swear jar like that and put into it every time he barked at the neighbour’s dog I could retire to Maui.
I had a friend I lent money to once. I never got the money back and after I lent it to her she met up with me less and less giving me more excuses than real reasons for not wanting to see me until she completely stopped contacting me even going as far as blanking me on the street. I never got my money back or our “friendship”. So you could say she was an Imaginary friend as she certainly wasn’t a real one.
No. My mother is one of those people who will say she is right even when she knows she’s wrong.
Unicorns are mentioned in the King James version of the Bible 9 times, in 5 different books, by at least 5 different authors: by Balaam, Moses, David, Isaiah, and even God himself in the book of Job. These are the verses that mention unicorns:
Numbers 23:22 “God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.”Numbers 24:8 “God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows.”Job 39:9 “Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib?”Job 39:10 “Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?”Psalms 29:6 “He maketh them also to skip like a calf; Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn.”Psalms 92:10 “But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.”Deuteronomy 33:17 “His glory is like the firstling of his bullock, and his horns are like the horns of unicorns: with them he shall push the people together to the ends of the earth: and they are the ten thousands of Ephraim, and they are the thousands of Manasseh.”Psalms 22:21 “Save me from the lion’s mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns.”Isaiah 34:7 “And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.”
I wasn’t feeling well once when I was a kid but mum sent me anyway. Turned out I had the start of the Mumps and I infected half the class. Bad mistake on her part.
And this is funny how???
When I was young snap crackle and pop was the noise my breakfast cereal made in the morning. Now it’s the sound I make in the morning.
I’m permanently single. When at any friend or family wedding I will always have some aging female relative say “you’ll be next.” So I have started saying those exact words back to them at funerals.