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Richard's Poor Almanac

By Richard Thompson
4,306
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Jan 15, 2018
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vincent fever... by richard thompson

with the van gogh show opening only 9 months away, eager fans are already in line for tickets outside the national gallery.
guy 1: yo vinnie!
guy 2: woof woof
van
gogh

curator: as part of our marketing strategy we'll have the usual toto bags, posters, mugs, etc., but we also have a deal with mcdonald's to include a van gogh toy in every happy meal! this one's the van gogh cart. ha ha!
a national gallery curator

oop: and this time, in the event of a govern-ment shutdown, we'll be hanging the show on little folding screens so we can just move the whole works to montgomery mall.

let's paint with van gogh!
gogh: first you'll want to put on some old clothes that you won't mind getting dirty. this is im-portant.
1

gogh: now confront the canvas! using formal mastery, create an intense & ecstatic vision of god & man expressed in the flow of nature.
2

gogh: now go for it! yeah! all right! yeah! chrome yellow! i love it! umph grunt oof
3

gogh: there! i call it "self portrait with elmer fudd hat." next time we'll work on pronunciation: van-goh or van gok.
4
All caught up!
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