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It’s all fun and games until somebody FINDS an eye.
Target’s all out of TVsBest Buy has just two or threeWalmart will be the death of meBlack Friday at the mall
Barnes and Noble’s shelves are bareBed Bath & Beyond, I swearJust sell me something, I don’t careBlack Friday at the mall
Yesterday was greatNothing to do but vegetateNow I must confront my fate
“Your call is very important to us — but not important enough for us to, you know, answer it.”
“Wedge,” “Elephant’s trunk,” “Finger of God”…
I used to tell my wife if she sneezed again after the third sneeze-and-bless-you, “Now you’re just milking it.”
That would have defeated the purpose of the buyback, which is to convince the simpleminded to surrender their guns without fear of legal consequences.
Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roamAnd I’ll give a generous carpet allowance when I sell
And then for the next four years or — if we’re very, very unlucky, eight.
RIP Gilbert Gottfried.