Try Speech to Text using a Lawrence Welk accent. Auto Correct goes into perpetual thinking mode. Sometimes makes attempts at translating from different languages. Ok, my parties are pretty bland.
In the winter you can blame it on the added weight of full-length thermal underwear. In a pinch you could ‘add’ the weight of the water in your hair that must not have been fully toweled off. Wait, did you clip your finger and toenails?
Sitting on or near the ice, Woodstock will need what I’m assuming is his feather down parka.