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  1. about 5 hours ago on Crankshaft

    “Have you met Les Moore?” SATAN appears! “DO YOU WISH TO MEET HIM, MORTAL?!” Me: “Eh, not really.” SATAN: “You sure? Dude, I’ll give you 50 bucks, just get him away from here.”

  2. about 5 hours ago on Crankshaft

    More like a nanometer. And the IQs in this strip are measurable only in Kelvin.

  3. about 11 hours ago on Crankshaft

    Have billionaire Dick Scaife buy thousands, just to get it on the pointless NYT Bestsellers List. Every year I see these at my local book sale—“Bestsellers” by O’Reilly and Coulter, donated and not just unread, but unopened. Wait, WAIT! I have a brainstorm! Hey Dingleberry, maybe WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING INTERESTING? (Tom sighs. “But that’s work!”)

  4. about 13 hours ago on Crankshaft

    I’m sure Tom would consider it not a rip-off, but “an homage”. But…why? It’s a largely forgotten movie from 1939. Yes, we ALL know who the Queen of Murania from 1935’s Phantom Empire is, DUH! But…Why? Why call it that? Because Drums? There’s an old 60s instrumental titled Drums Fall Off a Cliff, that might work better

  5. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    You mean “Put the FUNKYWINKERBEANING lotion”!

  6. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    Les is going to triumphantly pull up in a tractor trailer, open the giant doors, and find out that his motherlode of “Lisa’s Story: The Other Shoe” is actually just a bunch of old shoes. Marianne Winters will get sad, and give him a Pulitzer!

  7. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    “Hallucination book” is right. I’m guessing that Tom’s at Ohianatuckychusettes to start kickstarter preorders for this Dinkledong book that doesn’t exist yet? This is the second time in a few months it’s been pictured, in all its Lisa’s Story Glory.

  8. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    Ha ha! It’s funny, because Dinkleberry is a total jerk who cares about nothing but himself! FUNNY! Also, no one can ask “Where’s Crankshaft?” He’s right there, wearing Ed’s skin! “IT PUTS THE LOTION ON THE LIZARD, OR IT GETS THE TUBA!”

  9. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    Each book comes with a free copy of Lisa’s Story. The enraged mob burns his truck down.

  10. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    A quarter inch from Reality, DUH!