Just cut up the lettuce into tiny, barely discernible pieces, hide them in the pizza dough while the pizza is being made, then trick Jon and Garfield into thinking that they’re special herbs that were added to give the pizza more flavor.
Anyone remember when something like this was also used in an episode of “Dora the Explorer”? They were betting who can jump higher than the Great Mountain, then came to the conclusion that everyone can, because “mountains can’t jump”. Also, if Calvin of “Calvin and Hobbes” tried to do something like this with Susie, it’s a safe bet that Susie would beat him to a pulp.
Now’s the time for Arlene to actually top Garfield with a monumental burp.