Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 02, 2015
Transcript:
uncle richard's suburban myths by richard thompson so there's this guy, he comes home from work every night, dives onto the couch and turns on the tv. man: ahhh click then he dozes off, the remote slips from his nerveless fingers and he spends a good 4 hours comatose, bombarded by a poisonous spew of sitcom & melodrama deathrays. man: z weeks, months, whole tv seasons pass... man: z till one night, long after midnight, he awakens to find a terrible transformation- man: yawn man: hey - i'm a centaur! richard: to be continued next week -- kid 1: that's it? he turns into a sofa? kid 2: now i'll have chintz nightmares!
It’s too late for my brother. He’s become one with his couch. He won’t even leave it for holiday dinners.