Ted Rall for November 03, 1999

Transcript:

Kids killing kids... kids eating children... it's time to make childhood illegal! It's not bad enough that "kids" get free room and board... educate the little bastards on your tab! (Kid 1: Our folks are at work- while we watch TV and drink their beer!) (Kid 2: Adults are suck tools!) Kids add zip to the G.D.P. and their sloth is costing us bigtime in the global economy. (Woman: I just worked a shift, honey... would you mind maybe helping me with the laundry? (Kid 3: Sorry, mom- I've gotta "play!" hee, hee!) They're the ultimate special- interest group: immune from execution, coddled by sycophantic "parents" and entitled to "love" for their age alone. (Man 1: I love you.) (Woman 2: I killed Mom and now I'm going to kill you.) (Man 1: I love you anyway) But America doesn't have to tolerate these dwarflike prima donnas. Let's eliminate the privileged elites among us- let's make childhood illegal! (Man 1: One, two, three, four- adults won't take it anymore!! Next: let's take the "young" out of "young adult"! (Man: Madison avenue caters to me- and you can't do anything about it!) (Woman 2: I could work... but I'd rather get pierced!)