Ted Rall for December 13, 1999
Transcript:
Even though Democrats and republicans are virtually identical, politics has become so worthless that nothing gets done anymore. (Man: I yield my remaining 18 1/2 minutes to the chief lobbyist for amalgamated semiconductor, who will explain the numerous benefits of pollution.) So cities are taking on big tobacco and gun violence by suing cigarette and gun companies into bankruptcy. (Woman: Next we're suing the grocery industry for the health costs associated with obesity and reading women's magazines.) (Man: Balanced budget, here we come!) Who cares that guns and butts are legal? The legislative branch of government has abdicated, the government has abdicated, and the judiciary is picking up the slack. (Woman: Our plan is to get rid of evil products by harassing their manufacturers.) (Man 2: Why not just ban them?) (Woman: Are you mad?!? There's no political will to ban bad things!) Coming up next: The death of the executive branch, and the court system coup d'etat! (Television: Rather than declare war- since there's no political will for war- we're filing a lawsuit against terrorist states!)