Ted Rall for April 28, 2001
Transcript:
With a recent supreme court ruling allowing police to arrest and jail motorists for trivial traffic offenses, the U.S. officially joined the third world. (Man: Welcome aboard.) After years of preparation, the switch to third-world status came as little surprise. (Man 2: The U.S. has long avoided such trappings of modernity as socialized medicine, free college tuition and substantial paid vacation time. But it took a supreme court coup d'etat to truly become backward.) (Woman: I'm hungry.) (Man 2: Die, chump) Americans can look forward to loans they can default upon, care packages, and ecotourism euro-dollars from german backpackers. And theres' another advantage, too. (Woman 2: Originally I came here on a sex tour, but when I found out how fat the girls were I decided to save my money for Sri Lanka.) Now the U.S. will lure jobs away from countries that it's old jobs transformed into first-world saps! (MAn 2: It isn't our fault if Pakistan pays its workers too much... Karachi's loss is Dayton's gain!)