“Sam! Sam, get in here! The Johnsons put their recycle bin in the street instead of on the curb. It’s very distressing. Take down the upside-down Stars and Stripes and raise the Gadsden flag!”
“Right-side up or upside-down, my dear?”
“Upside-down, you nitwit!”
“Yes, darling.”
“WAIT! The Feldmillers look like they’re pulling out their lawnmower. Oh, my delicate sensibilities are under assault! Take down the Gadsden flag and put up the Appeal To Heaven flag. Do it now!”
“Anything for my unfairly-distressed snuggle bunny.”
“These neighbors are a threat to my country, Sam, and I will not stand for it!”
“Bunch of libturds. How I love ruling against them and their precious ‘rights.’”
“These commies should go back where they came fro…..”
“Oh…my…God! We gotta put the Stars and Stripes back up, Snookum Wookums. Upside down and add a second one!”
“Why, Sam? What’s wrong?”
“I just read that Joe Biden might win reelection.”
“Ahhhhhhhhh!!! Distress! Distress!”
“This total breakdown in civility can mean only one thing, Honey Lumps.”
Thursday Morning at the Alito Residence
“Sam! Sam, get in here! The Johnsons put their recycle bin in the street instead of on the curb. It’s very distressing. Take down the upside-down Stars and Stripes and raise the Gadsden flag!”
“Right-side up or upside-down, my dear?”
“Upside-down, you nitwit!”
“Yes, darling.”
“WAIT! The Feldmillers look like they’re pulling out their lawnmower. Oh, my delicate sensibilities are under assault! Take down the Gadsden flag and put up the Appeal To Heaven flag. Do it now!”
“Anything for my unfairly-distressed snuggle bunny.”
“These neighbors are a threat to my country, Sam, and I will not stand for it!”
“Bunch of libturds. How I love ruling against them and their precious ‘rights.’”
“These commies should go back where they came fro…..”
“Oh…my…God! We gotta put the Stars and Stripes back up, Snookum Wookums. Upside down and add a second one!”
“Why, Sam? What’s wrong?”
“I just read that Joe Biden might win reelection.”
“Ahhhhhhhhh!!! Distress! Distress!”
“This total breakdown in civility can mean only one thing, Honey Lumps.”
“What’s that, Sam?”
“We’re gonna need more flagpoles.”
— Bill in Portland Maine