My friends call me “Captain Cliché” but I’m completely in the dark as to why. I’m always cool as a cucumber, I’m always fit as a fiddle, I always my pull my own weight, and yet they always call me “Captain Cliché.” Many a time, I have pulled an all-nighter trying to figure this out, but I keep coming up empty-handed. What a cruel twist of fate this is. Nobody keeps me in the loop.
Yet, I am eager as a beaver to get to the root of this problem. Even if I have to boldly go where no man has gone before, I will unravel this deep dark secret! I’ll be steady as a rock, and I will go that extra mile in my quest. I won’t let it appear that I’m dumb as a post. I will search until I’m dead as a doornail.
I must admit, however, that I have a skeleton in my closet: I’m scared to death of failure. If I don’t get out of this tangled web, I’ll never be the same. I’ll be beside myself with anger, and I’ll be steamin’ like a demon. I want people to think I’m sharp as a tack and not slower than molasses in January. Yet, the truth is, I feel like I’m completely out to lunch, and I’m getting nowhere fast.
If I could just find something to build on, I’d be in the clear. Unfortunately, I’m not out of the woods yet. In fact, I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel. So I’d better keep a lid on it. Then again, maybe what I don’t know won’t hurt me. After all, “Captain Cliché” does have a nice ring to it. Perhaps I’ll just sit back and enjoy the ride.