Close to Home by John McPherson for April 14, 1996
Transcript:
Having flunked three consecutive chemistry tests, Brad got home one day to discover that his parents had wallpapered his room with the periodic chart. Folks, this is the captain speaking. We've just gotten word from the tower that there is a blue ford explorer, license plate 2Z-XJG, in the long-term parking lot with its lights on. Of course, there's not much you can do about it now, is there?! AH HA AH HA!