JumpStart by Robb Armstrong for July 30, 2000
July 29, 2000
July 31, 2000
Transcript:
charlene: clarence, you really ought to give these old suits to joe...they're way too small for you! clarence: Now ay, charlene! What will I wear when I get back to my real size? Man: Clarence, you really ought to give these old suits to joe. clarence: hey! who are you? Man: Don't ya recognize me, man? I'm "1993 liquid diet clarence." Clarence: it's been ages! Man: yep. I only hung around for a month or so. you ran out and bought me $3,500 worth of slim italian suits, remember? clarence: And what thanks did I Get? You abandoned me! we liquid diet dudes like to keep moving. give the suits to joe. this is the last you'll ever see of me. Joe: how can I thank you? Clarence: you can smack 1993 liquid diet clarence upside the head.
I wonder where Robb Armstrong got the idea for this one. I once had a diet book called I’LL NEVER BE FAT AGAIN! The author related an anecdote of a man who went on a liquid diet. He held banquets where all his friends would be feasting, while he daintily sipped away at his pink stuff. He went to Italy and got a whole wardrobe of tailored suits. Then…he celebrated coming off his fast by gorging…and gorging…and gorging. The end of the anecdote: “…I can tell you that he has a whole closet of tailor-made suits that have never been worn.”