JumpStart by Robb Armstrong for December 22, 2002

Transcript:

"Santa Claus The True Hollyweird Story" "Part two The Comeback Tour" "Next on the True Hollyweird Story Santa's attempts to return to the spotlight failed at first..." "The 'thigh-buster' really works!" "His former fans simply stopped believing in him" "Frankly, he no longer believes in himself..." "But his historic comeback silenced his critics!" "I got two down front!" "He packed the world's largest arenas, handing out toys in record-breaking number" "Sant has left the building!" "But his success was marred by controversy" "Yes, I worked in a sweat shop" "The other elves are afraid to come forward" "The lawsuits followed, and the lawyers cashed in" "The mitten doesn't fit!" "See, honey? There is a Santa Claus!" "Is that a police escort ro a low-speed Chase?"