Matt Bors for November 21, 2007
Georgia is having a severe water shortage, so the governor proposed a solution: EVERYONE PRAY FOR RAIN. Governor: It's an unfortunate reality: God only delivers potable water to those who BEG for it. PRAY DAY 2007 And it's not just how the weather works. Prayer is the driving force behind everything. Woman: It's the big secret in government. We really don't DO anything except sit around all day and PRAY. Woman: And drink coffee. Why do you think America is so prosperous? Luck? No, we prayed hard for it! God's hearing horn God: OK, Timmy in Kansas wants an XBox. That's doable. God: ...but I'm not helping Africa until I hear some pious pleas! I DO WHAT THE VOICES IN MY HEAD TELL ME TO But not everyone can get their way. The big issues are decided by a divine electoral college. God: Prayers for and against universal health care are dead even. It's all going to come down to Ohio and which side has the most knees on the ground.
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