Matt Bors for January 14, 2008
January 11, 2008
January 16, 2008
Transcript:
News Anchor: HILLARY CLINTON'S TEAR: a historic humanizing moment when voters realized they could finally elect a robot president. Watershed! BORING PUNDIT MAN Boring Pundit Man: Chris, we had a no idea that androids were this advanced. The fact that they can so expertly replicate human emotions will garner sympathy with voters. BITTER PUNDIT MAN Bitter Pundit Man: It was STAGED. The robot handlers installed windshield fluid into the eyes and set the timer. One thing's for sure. Getting verklempt will not play in the south, where tearing up is considered a sign of weakness. They also have an intense fear of robots. The Dry Eye Belt Polls conducted since the beginning of this comic show Hillary is already getting a bounce that could turn this teardrop into a tidal wave. "The Moment" OBAMA CLINTON 2:03 pm 2:04 pm 2:05 pm News Anchor: HOLD IT! Barack Obama has come down with DIARRHEA! Can voters sympathize or will these unpleasant bio-functions repulse the electorate? The Poo Vote
