Matt Bors for March 17, 2008
Sex Scandal Cheat Sheet POLITICIANS: Clip out comic. Keep in your pocket. Refer to often. How Much Trouble Are You In? You're having an "improper relationship" with a... Cute Intern Call Girl Dude In A Bathroom Teenage Boy Sea Cucumber Will You Go To Jail? No If you have enemies in high places. Depends how far along you were when caught Definitely Depends on the state Is your career over? LOL Maybe Surprisingly, no Me thinks so Again, depends on the state THINK ABOUT THE WIFE (Remember her?). When making a public apology, don't force your shell-shocked woman to stand beside you. Mind racing Blank stare Aging before our eyes Pale Heartbroken Considering a denial? Don't use these: Politician: I'm not gay. I would NEVER pay that much for sex! I did not have sexual relations with that sea cucumber!
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