Matt Bors for April 09, 2008
A fringe candidate for the Idaho senate has legally changed his name from Marvin Richardson to simply "PRO-LIFE." Pro-Life: Zygotes are my future constituents! VOTE PRO-LIFE in 2008 Candidates across the nation are thinking of adopting this strategy, swapping out all three of their names with the few poll-tested words that mesmerize voters. FIRST Troops Jobs Tax Cuts MIDDLE Pro-Fetus Pro-Choice LAST Health Care Guns! Lord Jesus It would spell doom for any politician with a nuanced campaign message. Candidate: ...AND I'LL DO IT! Or my name isn't "Divert Revenue Streams From The Farm Bill To Help Fund A -" OH, JUST FORGET IT! But this is America we're talking about. News Anchor: Next on "Soundbite Standoff." MR. HOPE CHANGE FRESH FACE... Versus AMERICA COURAGE P.O.W. This debate is scheduled for 37 seconds!
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