Matt Bors for July 14, 2008
July 11, 2008
July 16, 2008
Transcript:
News Anchor: OUR TOP STORY: the two parties have joined forces in a GRAND COMPROMISE to eliminate HALF of the Bill of Rights! Senator: Centuries of PARTISAN BICKERING have kept us from being SENSIBLE about which rights to trash. Senator Thorton Windbag (R) News Anchor: Barack Obama assured his fanbase that the leftover freedoms were "the really cool ones." Our Rad Rights Barack Obama: Gun nuts keep their toys and hippies get free speech in coffee shops. It's WIN-WIN! Pundit: Americans want all sides to be victors. They like joyful unity. That's why they're so into sports. Boring Pundit Man News Anchor: Democrats did say they may get RADICAL if elected and pretend ALL of our rights still exist! Land O' Make Believe
