Matt Bors for July 21, 2008
The Bush administration may be closing Guantanamo now that detainees have habeas corpus rights. What will become of the 260 remaining prisoners? George W. Bush: We've got to keep them beyond the reach of law! I've got a few ideas... GITMO 2: Gitmo in space. George W. Bush: Vacuum boarding - even better! Food prices are soaring. We could grind their bones to make our bread. TERROR WHEAT Organic fresh! Do laws apply in the sky? OF COURSE NOT. I may force them to live on Air Force One and be my butlers. Prisoner: My name is Jalal Hussein. George W. Bush: YOUR NAME IS ALFRED! Prisoner: My name is Alfred. Or, I may be NICE and send them home to be with their families, as bread. Woman: I remember him being...BIGGER. Cuter. Man: Sentient.
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