Matt Bors for January 23, 2009

Transcript:

Should former* Bush officials be held accountable for going on a medieval torture spree? Barack Obama: That's BEHIND US. Let's LOOK FORWARD and bound onward toward our shared destiny or something. This new ZEN LEGAL THEORY says "Let bygones be bygones." U.S. DEPT. of JUSTICE Man: Only the NOW exists...do not let the past consume you, young grasshopper. Punishing criminals is for losers obsessed with yesteryear. Lawyer: YES, my client robbed a bank...IN THE PAST! He's moved on and so should the court! Man: Hi. REASONABLE Americans don't reward lawbreakers with attention. Woman: My last boyfriend beat me, so I left him for a nicer guy. Police Officer: Well, I'm sure he's learned his lesson.