Matt Bors for August 03, 2009

Transcript:

You may think the BEER SUMMIT was a silly stunt cooked up by the White House for media consumption. News Anchor: Obama drank a BUD LIGHT: working class elixir or corporate pee pee water? LAGER ANALYSIS SQUADRON But it is through the great joy of intoxication that our defenses come down. AND WE HEAL. White Man: I thought you people only drink 40's. MY BAD. tink African-American Man: I pegged you as a Mich Ultra pansy. APOLOGIES. It's time for a MASSIVE Oktoberfest summit with Palestinians, Jews, racists, birthers, gays, gaybashers, gay gaybashers, health insurance lobbyists and uninsured cancer victims. ZIGA ZAGA ZIGA ZAGA OI OI OI! The more SLOSHED they get, the more breakthroughs we'll have. Gay Man: Repeal "Don't ask, don't tell" already! Redneck Man: Isss SO shtupid. hic! President Barack Obama: Gimme a napkin - I'll write a exsheshutive order!