Matt Bors for July 16, 2010

Transcript:

The Portland police have reopened the investigation into Al Gore harassing a masseuse like a CRAZED SEX POODLE! PANT PANT Since facts don't matter in our society, people have formed strong opinions based on who they voted for TEN YEARS AGO. Woman: The Al Gore I know in my head is a GOOD MAN! Tea Party Man: He is a RAPIST and this invalidates ALL KNOWN SCIENCE! Gore's fate probably hinges on whether or not the prosecutor is a climate change skeptic. Prosecutor: It is a HOAX! Therefore he is a PERVERT! And so, he must be EXECUTED! And if you don't like the outcome, put on your own tin foil detective hat! Hiding Man: IT WAS A SET UP! Mother: The judge owns seven shares of Chevron! Baby: ROVE. GORE GUILTY!