" I wish to register a complaint about this unicorn I purchased from this very boutique not half an hour ago."
“What seems to be the problem?”
“I’ll tell you what the problem is. It’s not indifferent. The label clearly says Dutchess Noticeable Indifference, and yet it immediately asked me to pay more attention to it.”
“Of course. It is important that you notice how indifferent it is.”
“If it cares about what I think of it, it is not indifferent!”
“Yes, it is!”
“No, it isn’t!”
“Yes, it is!”
“No, it isn’t. And when I pointed that out, it started crying and admitted to being a fraud.”
“Well, I guess you’ll want a replacement, then. How about this? Lord Splendid Humility. The most humble being in existence, as it will be the first to tell you.”
“If it wants to tell me that it is the best in anything, that’s not humble!”
“Yes, it is!”
“No, it isn’t!”
“Yes, it is! See how it’s humbly hiding in the bush and only shows its horn.”
Is there a refund service for unicorns?
" I wish to register a complaint about this unicorn I purchased from this very boutique not half an hour ago."
“What seems to be the problem?”
“I’ll tell you what the problem is. It’s not indifferent. The label clearly says Dutchess Noticeable Indifference, and yet it immediately asked me to pay more attention to it.”
“Of course. It is important that you notice how indifferent it is.”
“If it cares about what I think of it, it is not indifferent!”
“Yes, it is!”
“No, it isn’t!”
“Yes, it is!”
“No, it isn’t. And when I pointed that out, it started crying and admitted to being a fraud.”
“Well, I guess you’ll want a replacement, then. How about this? Lord Splendid Humility. The most humble being in existence, as it will be the first to tell you.”
“If it wants to tell me that it is the best in anything, that’s not humble!”
“Yes, it is!”
“No, it isn’t!”
“Yes, it is! See how it’s humbly hiding in the bush and only shows its horn.”