TV remotes, and their near-relatives, cell phones, are actually the advance guard of aliens that are taking over our planet. And your little ipads, too..They are semi-sentient von Neumann machines proliferating exponentially. First were TV remotes. They grow little centipede legs when you’re not looking, and scurry into hidden, inaccessible places. They also have impossible-to-decipher buttons for options you will never figure out how use – just to make you feel inferior and demoralized..And iphones? Hate to tell you, but every time you put one up to your ear is closer to the time when it will attach itself permanently to your skull. .Oh, yes. Someday soon (and the lackies at NSA are part of this) the aliens in all their electronic disguises will suddenly turn on their owners and meld to their faces, drill into their frontal lobes, and all humans will be controlled by insidious bad-wicked-evil forces. That’s eeeeeeeeevil forces! .Steve Jobs did not die – he went back to alien headquarters and will return soon in triumph. Foolish humans! We have left that nice fellow, Vladimir Putin, temporarily in charge. Buuuwwhaaaahahaha!.Whooops. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this. (- (-
TV remotes, and their near-relatives, cell phones, are actually the advance guard of aliens that are taking over our planet. And your little ipads, too..They are semi-sentient von Neumann machines proliferating exponentially. First were TV remotes. They grow little centipede legs when you’re not looking, and scurry into hidden, inaccessible places. They also have impossible-to-decipher buttons for options you will never figure out how use – just to make you feel inferior and demoralized..And iphones? Hate to tell you, but every time you put one up to your ear is closer to the time when it will attach itself permanently to your skull. .Oh, yes. Someday soon (and the lackies at NSA are part of this) the aliens in all their electronic disguises will suddenly turn on their owners and meld to their faces, drill into their frontal lobes, and all humans will be controlled by insidious bad-wicked-evil forces. That’s eeeeeeeeevil forces! .Steve Jobs did not die – he went back to alien headquarters and will return soon in triumph. Foolish humans! We have left that nice fellow, Vladimir Putin, temporarily in charge. Buuuwwhaaaahahaha!.Whooops. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this. (- (-