Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan for March 20, 2005

Transcript:

Poncho: First off, if they tell you to stay back from the table, don't listen. In mooching, proximity is everything. Inch forward slowly. (Beware: nails on tile will bring your mooching session to a quick close.) Sad eyes are a moocher's most valuable tool. Work up a little moisture for that shiny, emotional flavor. If things aren't going well, a small, plaintive moan can sometimes save the day. Mrrr... Be careful to only use this once. A second moan will annoy, and get you sent back to the sidelines. If all else is failing, use this bold gambit: hide in the other room. They'll think either something is wrong or that you're up to no good. When they find you resting innocently by yourself, you're sure to get a yummy treat! (Again, use sparingly.) Next week: mooching from children: easy prey! Till then, keep your tongue in your mouth! Chow!