Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan for May 30, 2008
Dog: You can't seriously prefer this two-ounce cockapoo over me! Poo Poo: Bichon frise, actually... Droolia: 'fraid so. Dog: I'm a blue-ribbon bullmastiff! I've sired prize-winning purebreds across the land! Droolia: Don't take it personally. This is a matter of the heart. Dog: This is a matter of outrage! I've come all the way from Omaha! Arrangements were made! Droolia: Sorry. Dog: But I already spent the "stud fee." Delivery Man: Somebody order a 30-pound tub of gummy worms?