How about this: Gather all the lights into a loose two-foot ball, hang it from your front porch by one wire, plug it in and let it glow. For accent, stick a sign in the yard that says, “Okay, honey, the lights are hung. Please come home.”
If you check the label, Pringles are owned by Proctor and Gamble. I prefer not to eat stuff made by someone whose primary product is disposable diapers.
This “How to Draw Doug” is going to be a classic. Just a feeling I get.