Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 13, 2014
july 1, fourth of july (canada). american: hey! quit gettin' ahead of me! u.s.a. canada august 6. sticky vinyl carseat races. aug. 8 power outage. it's the squirrels this time! aug 9 power outage. they're in the trans-former! aug 11 power outage. with the zebra mussels! aug 13 power outage. oops! aug 14 power outage. sorry, our fault. we pushed, the wrong button. september 3. open mike comedy night. comedian: did you hear about the dyslexic guitar player? his god has fleas. heh heh. september 27. nationwide pencil drop, 10:15 a.m. shh! pass it on! october 15. fall colors at their most annoying day. man: fall, damn you. fall! november 23-31. tryptophan awareness week. oop: lookout! she's in the gravy boat! that's how we lost gramma! zzzzz december 25. holiday letdown day. santa: so. that's it, huh? january 1. new years day. go back and start this book over. guy: it was hard enough to read the first time.