Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 26, 2015
corrections for '97 by mort walker & barrett prettyman richard thompson metro because of a transmission error, the headline for a p.g. county sewer moratori-um story was not in the form of a pun. we apologize! an article concering middle-class suburbanityes being carried off by bears was just a circulation gim-mick & didn't really happen. remember larry soulsby & his pal? or marion barry & his luggage? stuff like that can only happen in bad fiction! a pure fabrication! a problem with our new presses caused pairs of razor-crease chinos to be delivered to subscribers in suitland and greenbelt. all those recipes for holiday glazed lemming just should not have been published. we shoulda known! the "judge parker" comic strip sent 300 toddlers to the hospital last week with seizures & convusions. uh-oh! because of an impish enws aide named kevin, all photos in the nov. 17th edition had saddam hussein mustaches. kevin was dealt with severely. owing to the forcible insertion of an impish news aide into our new presses, early editions for nov. 18th looked a lot like kevin. sorry! a misjudged setting on our new post delivery system caused some sub-scribers to find their pa-pers buried 10 inches in their front yard. oops!