Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 12, 2015
Transcript:
Your Guide to Xmas Trees Pig! Old Growth Behemoth Fir Needs a high ceiling. May contain irate Earth Firsters. Longleaf Evershed High maintenance. Denudes & regenerates hourly. Extra-Resinous Balsam A sap fancier's delight. Hard to pry off of car. Hey, my sandwich fell apart. Carniferous Spruce Self-sufficient. Likes children. Will make do with pets. Car Freshener Somewhat pathetic. And it smells fakey. Sandwich Toothpick Extremely pathetic yet undeniably festive.
This is one of your best ones yet. The “Earth Firster” is pure genius. Thanks, big guy.