Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for June 24, 2020
Transcript:
guide to local bogeymen waashington, d.c. isn't just home to stuffed shirts, empty suts & talking heads. no, we also have these- the germantown diabolic realtor. eerie signs, some with balloons, beck-on the unwary. house for sale house for house for sale arbutus bingo harpy. cover your ears lest you hear her greedy shrieks. capitol hill hobgoblin of little minds! no one escapes its influence! k street vampires. a whole damn firm of them! the arlington headless soccer mom. avoid lee highway after dark! the suitland phantom strip mall. appears only to the doomed. the gnawing troll of wilson bridge. the fredericksburg spectral confederate holdout who won't stay dead. call it the war of north-ern aggression or he gets all riled up! the pomonkey tire-eating fiend. may be apocryphal. ocean city invisible hellhound on a leash. it prowls the boardwalk, baying for souls.
Fairfax County Statue Topplers.
Particularly dangerous around 19th century monuments.