Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 02, 2020

Transcript:

historic thanksgiving highlights we all know the first thanksgiving was in 1921. but there's more 1945 - 1st intrusion of christmas commercialism. barrels all kinds! pre-xmas sale at the 24th thanksgiving euphasia pewfiller advertises his pre-xmas barrel-making crazy days sale. he is hanged forthwith. 1689 - 1st person to get "creative" with stuffing. priddygood churchlywife unveils her maize & truffle surprise stuffing. she is transported back to england & forcibly converted to catholicism. 1781 - 1st cranberry relish that retains the shape of its can. invented by benjamin franklin, it is decried as "an abomination" and "of ungodly resiliency." but eventually it catches on. 12,000 b.c. - 1st handprint turkey. astoundingly, cave painters employed this artistic device 13,621 years before the first thanksgiving!