Ted Rall for December 29, 1997
Transcript:
Hi! Teddy test tube here. Lately there's been a lot of bad press about in vitro fertilization. Why spend tens of thousands of dollars on an unreliable procedure, they ask, while countless orphans await adoption? Good question - here's a simple analysis... Your genetically perfect progeny: I love you Adopted kid: I wish you were dead. Don't you deserve your own, 100% real, child? Your adorable DNA heir: Thank you for making me work through college to become self-reliant. Adopted kid: The fuzz is on my ass. Hide me or I'll shoot you. Breeding, unlike eating, is a sacred right! Your evolutionary destiny: I smoke to be like you. Adopted kid: Oasis rules! Orphans: who knows where they've been? Your loving son or daughter: Tell me about the '80s again, mom. Adopted kid: The dog is dead and it's all your fault. Why do you think people put kids up for adoption in the first place?