Ted Rall for March 05, 1998
Transcript:
The Peter Principle revisited: Every day brings more sordid charges against Bill Clinton, yet his popularity keeps rising. (Man: Today's top story; Chelsea Clinton's former aide says the president has an unnatural relationship with socks the cat.) (Woman: Coming up; Clinton's polls hit 10%) Statiticians cite the "presidential protection principle" the greater the threat to economic stability the more citizens rush to support incumbent politicians. (Television: This just in; Did president Clinton give the state of Montana to a 12-year-old prostitute in exchange for monkey love? Maybe!) Clinton advisers, having noted this phenomenon,are busy developing new outrages for the president to commit, cover up and ultimately admit. (Woman: We project that a presidential girl scout orgy scandal will add 14 points to his approval rating and cut inflation by 0.4%) (Man: Dibs on the leak!) It's a win-win scenario: We keep our paychecks and Clinton gets to live like a debauched late period roman emperor. (Man: It's time for your 3:15 nude ping-pong match with Tony Blair.) (Bill Clinton: But I already scheduled a porn movie shoot!)