Ted Rall for December 30, 2000

Transcript:

Quit lazin' around the house watchin' daytime tv... train to earn big money as a C.E.O.! "I was just lazin' around the house when I saw the ad on daytime TV. (Television: We'll show you how you can earn tens of millions of dollars as a CEO. All you have to do is call!) (Man: Screw that calling crap.) "Then my roommate came home. (Man 2: I'm sick of paying your rent. Get a job in 6-8 weeks or I'm calling the cops) I knew it was time to take charge of my life. (Man 3: You're white, male, and the son of an incredibly wealthy man. Class starts tomorrow- congrats.) "It was tough, but the folks at EDI taught me everything I need to know. (Man 3: No, no, no, no! Line up the papers into a neat pile! Someone else will read them for you!) "You'd be amazed at the little things that they show you. (Man 3: Never accept any worse than tanqueray... even as a mixer!) "They even found me a good job- and I got to keep my own tools!" (Man 1: $34.1 million? But I'm easily worth $35 mil!) (Man 3: You'll get a review after 3 months!)