Ted Rall for December 31, 2012
Transcript:
Pundits say the early presidential front-runners in 2016 are Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush. (Man: In a country with just 311 million people, it's impossible to find qualified leaders outside a few special families. But Clinton and Bush don't have it all sewn up yet. Older political dynasties are revving up. (Man 2: Only the great-great-great grandson of John Quincy Adams can save America! Which would be me.) Why limit nepotistic royalist impulses to American families? (Man 3: 1 out of 200 men are direct descendants of Genghis Khan. As one of those men, I pledge to slaughter taxpayers who earn more than $400,000.) Now that we've had a black president, how about one with pedigree? (Man 1: As Sally Hemings and Thomas Jefferson's great-great-great-grandson I am infinitely better qualified than Jerry Ford's granddaughter...)
In a country with 311,000,000 people, only the descendants of King Edward I of England are winning the White House. I think this is because they are genetically predisposed toward ambition, organization, and managing countries because Edward was descended from all the kings and queens who attained power across the landscape of Europe from Lisbon to Moscow the previous 800 years going back to his ancestors the Merovingians of France.