Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for May 16, 2009

Transcript:

super-fun-pak comix star trek babies kirk: spock! that romulan baby took my rattle! spock: course of action, captain? kirk: i... pooped my diaper! spock: highly illogical. kirk: this isn't about logic, spock! next: re-boot! "star trek fetuses" fred and all, the dialog balloons man 1: call me a cab! man 2: okay, you're a cab! fred: how come i'm always the set-up, and you're always the punchline? al: because you point to the left. that's showbiz, al. dinkle, the unlovable loser cop: you defrauded thousands out of their life savings! dinkle investments cop: we only caught you because you listed henry winkler as your c.i.o.! why?! dinkle: it's a classic fon... cop: ponzi scheme! you were trying for a ponzi scheme! comix for the short-term meory imapired guy 1: my brother got a job in the circus. guy 2: he got a ob in the circus ? guy 1: yes, my brother. a job in the circus... next~ a brother's job in the circus. in this space tomorrow! write it down! now! ghost of james caan schmuck: i'm afraid i must reject your application. ghost: what?! hollywood tennis club schmuck: first, you are not a material being. james: why of all the... schmuck: second, james caan is a member here. james: and i'm not dead! torture tomfoolery* *formerly, "enhanced interrogation techniques chuckles" "it's a good thing we're prisoners of a constitutional democracy with a commitment to human rights and the rule of law, or we'd be in big trouble." "you could waterboard me 182 times, and i'd never talk! never! now, 183 times, and i might pass on a few nuggets. but 182 or less, never!" "i'll tell you what would really hurt. the eventual prosecution of those who provided the legal basis to allow this treatment, and the chilling effect that would have on government lawyers' ability to provide their best legal analyses of future policy initiatives."