Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for September 27, 2013

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE READERS OF THE TOM THE DANCING BUG COMIC STRIP We here at Tom the Dancing Bug, Inc. have found the proliferation of mass shootings to be very troubling. It's repetitive and depressing to keep trying to write and draw comic strips with the right blend of poignancy and outrage to follow each horrifying incident. SO we present this MASS SHOOTING comic strip template, which you can refer to after each tragedy, sparing us the trouble and anguish of creating a new one over and over. PLEASE BE SO KIND AS TO mentally insert the details of each latest shooting where indicated. PANEL ONE, about how the media got things wrong, and/or acted callously. Finding the right tone after a tragedy can be tricky, but the media's always a safe target. [Insert caricature of media personality] [Insert whatever media personality said, exaggerated for comic effect] [Insert logo of offending media organization] PANEL TWO, about the pro-gun lobby's predictably insane reaction, which will always be about arming "good guys" with more guns, and blaming video games. Man: If only every game console in America were replaced with a GLOCK 22 GEN4, these kinds of things would never happen! PANELS THREE AND FOUR, about gun advocates' misreading of the Second Amendment, including an ironic depiction of our Founding Fathers debating the Bill of Rights. Man: Surely our descendants will know that the Second Amendment, like the entire Bill of Rights, must be interpreted wisely! Man: Of course they will! Who would ever say this amendment must allow a [Insert type of person who should not be allowed to buy a gun] to buy some firearm that we in the 18th century could never imagine, like a [Insert type of modern horrific gun/ death machine used]?! Man #2: Hear, hear! Most importantly, PANEL FIVE keeps the tone respectful - mournful yet optimistic - by presenting a somber illustration of the scene of the shootings. AFTER [Insert name of latest gun tragedy], WILL AMERICA FINALLY WAKE UP AND ENACT SANE GUN LAWS? [Insert picture of shooting site] No, it will not. Obviously. So save this template for the next and all future shootings. Thank you for your cooperation.