Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 04, 2015

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Presents: News of the Times War Declared On Radical Christians After another tragic act of Christian terrorism, at a Planned Parenthood clinic, the U.S. swiftly adopted new policies, including immigration tests to ensure no Christians are admitted to the country. Man: Next question: would you put mayonnaise on a ham sandwich? Woman: Um... Republican candidates are calling for the registration of all Christians in a federal database. TRUMP Donald: And these must be sewn onto their clothing... Which is fantastic, because they look like lowercase "T"s! Christian churches are now under extensive surveillance. Woman: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned... Camera: BZZT Please turn your head 27º to your left to maximize facial recognition. And the military has begun targeted air strikes on the radical Christian elements fomenting violence. Rush: Baby parts! Baby parts... Hey, what's that whistling sound? JUST KIDDING! LOL. Of course, NONE of that happened. The only result of the shooting has been increased anger over the lack of snowflakes on Starbucks cups. Woman: Name? Man: "Merry Christmas, Baby Jesus"! WRITE IT!!