FoxTrot by Bill Amend for April 12, 2015

Transcript:

Marcus: We've come up with a way to help speed up televised baseball games. Roger: You boys should write the MLB commissioner's office. That's something they're wanting to do this season. Jason: Our initial idea was they should glue three balls together so a single well-thrown pitch could strike a batter out. Marcus: Then we changed it to nine balls so a single pitch could strike out the side. Jason: Of course, they'd need a three-handled bat so three players could be up at once. Marcus: Finally, however, we thought, why not glue 81 balls together and end all nine innings for a team with one perfect pitch? Jason: We're still working out whether the bat needs nine handles or 27. Roger: Um, what I said a minute ago? Ignore it.