Frank and Ernest by Thaves for September 18, 2005
"In sports news, the World Title Boxing Match was called off because the defender pulled a muscle while jogging in the rain." "A cramped damp champ!" "The Pro Athlete Pension Fund voted against the purchase of penny equities." "Jock flock blocks schlock stock!" "In other news, a cabdriver won a lot of money in a wrongful termination suit." "Sacked hack in the black!" "Knock it off, Ernie!...I'm trying to listen to the news, here!" "...A man who won a pickle-eating contest ended up getting a hospital bill for medical care..." "Dill ill pill bill!"