Matt Bors for April 14, 2008

Transcript:

Investment Tips for the MELTDOWN "One man's crisis is another man's opportunity." - Some guy who probably died a rich old miser Are you still paying off your floor-to-ceiling TV? DID YOU SAVE THE BOX? The cardboard housing market is only going to climb. So climb into a box. Homeless Man: I lie in my box all day and gain equity! Economists believe the dollar will bottom out near CHOCOLATE GOLD COINS...what would you rather have in YOUR savings account? Bernanke: Sweet. Shiny. No inflation. BERNANKE DON'T CASH THAT REBATE CHECK! In the future, museums will pay big bucks for relics from the "Age of Idiocy." Child: ? FUN BONUS FACT: you owe China $4,000!