Matt Bors for April 18, 2008

Transcript:

PANDERIN' in PENNSYLVANIA! Here are some campaign trail tips for candidates pressing flesh with hard-working simple folk! Prairie of Prayer It is elitist to run Amish buggies off the road with your campaign bus. White Resentment Creek Chugging raw milk from a dairy farm gives you small-town street cred! Moo! LOOK: FARM EQUIPMENT! Beer Gut Lodge Old steel town. Insert the word "jobs" 57 times into every speech. Valley of Bitterness Bowling Capital of PA. Your fondest childhood memory happened here...REMEMBER NOW? Machine gun elk, gain votes! The Oatmeal Guy Is From Here The founding fathers did some stuff here.