Matt Bors for August 25, 2008

Transcript:

Americans are now in agreement on the need to be ENERGY INDEPENDENT. Cave Man: FOREIGN OIL BAD! Me like drill! OP-ED Columnist This means kicking our addiction to petro that doesn't share our values. Saudi oil won't let chicks drive! European oil: snooty; bathes irregularly. Our domestic oil is the BEST, but its cultural identity is being attacked by MIGRATING MEXICAN OIL MOLECULES. Man: Coyotes sneak 'em under the border into our reserves! Black Gold Power! Only a subterranean BORDER WALL can ensure us a supply of 100% AMERICAN BORN CRUDE! Their siesta-taking sludge/ Our handsome dino juice