Matt Bors for August 27, 2008
Democrats purport their convention in Denver is the "GREENEST IN HISTORY." Al Gore: And we're not talking about our nominee - but our ECO-HIP 50-FOOT TV WALL! It will blow away the ENERGY HOGS of the 1835 Democratic Convention in Baltimore. Martin Van Buren: Gentlemen, I brought enough candles to keep this party hoppin' into the wee hours! VAN BUREN For Prez! At the 1884 Con in Chicago, being sustainable was simple. Man: We'll use the whiskey barrels as CHAIRS! Man #2: I've been wearing this suit for a WEEK! Man: That counts. To best them, the Pepsi Center had to tap into a VAST new energy source equal to the power of TEN SUNS... Man: They harness electricity from the SPITE of die-hard Hillary supporters.
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