Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 08, 2009

Transcript:

Danny Donkey hated work birthday parties. Danny Donkey says, "I hate them." He hated the guy who collected money for a present. Guy says, "We're all kicking in twenty for Carlos' gift." Danny donkey says, "But I hate Carlos." He hated the cutesy e-mails filled with emoticons telling everyone to meet in the conference room for fun and cheesecake. : ) Danny Donkey says, "It's never fun." Danny Donkey says, "I hate cheesecake." Danny Donkey says, "I hate emoticons." But most of all, he hated the awkward horror of standing around with people with whom he would not chose to spend even four seconds of free time." Man says, "D'you see the game on sunday?" Danny Donkey says, "Please shut your mouth, Sean." Woman says, "Hot today huh, Danny?" Danny Donkey says, "Please shut your trap, Phyllis." So Danny snapped, taking out all his rage on the party's poor pinata. Danny Donkey says, "Take That!" Danny Donkey says, "And that!" Danny Donkey says, "And that!" Only there was no pinata man says, "Carlos?" Man Says, "Carlos?" Woman says, "Carlos?" Danny dominick says, "My mistake, carlos." Goat says, "You are not putting this in a kids' book called 'Choosing the right career.'" Rat says, "But it mentions pinatas. Kids love Pinatas." Pig says, "Oh, boy! Was there candy in Carlos?"