Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 09, 2014
Unhappy being alone, Elly Elephant wanted a man who would listen. So she dated and dated until she finally found him. And when she found him, she knew immediately that he was the right man. Because he listened. For an hour. And didn't judge. And didn't offer advice. And didn't brag. A dream date. Marred only by the paramedics. Who informed her that her great listener had died an hour ago. Elly Elephant learned to be happy alone.